I miss you =(

I miss grandpa. I want him to come back and hug me like he used to when I was little.
I miss daddy. He used to talk to me and ask me all sorts of questions but not anymore.
I miss my ex. I wanted to cry when mom brought him up just now.

Missing someone sucks. Especially missing my ex. ><

sick yet hard

I don't what her real deal is. Isn't it enough that Daddy troubles me EVERYTIME?! Can't she just become a simple person who asks how my day went in school, makes me propper lunch, and not nag me the moment I step foot on the white tile of the place I call home. It doesn't even feel like home when she does that! It makes me want to run off and just forget I even have a family.

Now that she's sick, I thought I would come home to a quiet house, with nothing to eat on the table (I don't mind that since she's sick but it's like this everyday) but no. I came home with her greeting me a distance from the main door, mumbling words I couldn't understand and I hated that she was like that. I just got home from school and already I'm feeling the pressure of actually being at home! What am I? NOT human? NOT her daughter? NOT a stressed student with exam coming up in two weeks?

It's like she expect to be treated like the princess/queen while she's sick. Hell, i'd cook you lunch, buy you food, do your laundry but I am not treating you any differently. I may be your daughter but I have been mad at you for so long now for what you did for me all these years. You are nothing to me. Mother I must call you but you piss me off and always give me no support and make me sad and alone all the time and you just kill my dreams. Is that really what a mother should be doing?

People can call me over the top for saying all this towards the woman who gave birth to me. Whatever okay. I don't give a damn. I prayed, and have not been very patient with anything all my life, I admit truthfully that I also may have doubted God, but I have had enough of this.

I keep trying to be the ideal daughter, but I can't. I took my friend's advice to stop yelling at her but when I try she yells louder and louder and LOUDER. It's a never ending story I tell you. It's like being cursed to something so painful.

I can't wait to turn eighteen, really. I can't wait to go away. Even if I have to stay in a low life apartment, I'd take it. Anytime than being home nagged all the time.

Jeez.

Swinburne Campus Tour

Today, we went to Swinburne College to check out the place and facillities they had. In my opinion, IT WAS FRIGGIN AWESOME! I love what they prepared for us there.

At first we were gathered in a hall (so sorry, I forgot the name! Damn) but anyway, we gathered there and collected our name tag with our group alphabet on in as well. Initially, we all hated the group thingy coz we all had to be separated from our friends. Especially me being away from my darling Phoebe. She wanted so badly to join the Science section but her name was placed under the Arts section. Sad was the first impression but she got over it. Complaints were to be done later in the day, though. Hahahahah!!

I was lucky enough to be placed under the Science section. We had loads of activities in four classes. The very first one was my favourite; Website making. I was so amused that by using a simple Notepad we could create such an adorable page on the internet. Sadly, the lecturer didn't get to finish up her talk because her time was up and it was time to go make out handcream in the biotech lab! AHAHAHAHA. So much fun okay, just the science failure that was very unfortunate. Our hand cream (Me and a new friend. I think her name was Shetty?? Hehehehe), was a total disaster! Instead of looking like cream, it looked almost similar to Campbell Soup. Yuck! And it smells like antiseptic! LOL.

After that, we had a thrid class which bored me to death to be honest. At least now I know, electrical stuff ain't my gig. I will never bother checking out engineering. xDD Not that i'm ever interested anyway. Our next class which was our final class was robotics!

You know, I have full proof now on why I never wanted to join robotics. I almost destroyed the robot. HAHAHHA. I didn't know how to program the darn thing and it drove away from us and the cable came off. LMAO! So hillarious. But at the end, we manage to get the robot to follow orders under the right program. =D

Then it was lunch time! It was such a hot day at the cafe. We were practically fanning our self with the end of our shirt. And wait for it; we were wearing white!

Luckily, right after lunch, activities all happens in the MPH (MultiPurpose Hall) Cute name right? xD And there, there the agenda begins with this one guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Okay, actually, it began before I even went to the hall. I bumped to him on the way out of the cafe. He walked in with his school shirt looking all fair and delicious! His hair was all spiked up and go figures, he's my age! WOOTS! Crazy to be tripping over a cute guy I know but what was I to do right? I am a normal girl with normal teenage hormones. LOL.

So the best part of the day, I conclude would be watching HIM all the time. SOOOOOO NOT EXHAUSTING. AND SOOOO MUCH FUN.

xDD I am so cheeky. Well, you got another piece of info about me now. HAHA!

TOODLES!

PS. I found him on FB! I totally adore my buddy for telling me his full name. HA!

the wonders of my mind

Have you ever wonder how the Eden Garden looks like?

For me, I imagine it a huge clear land, with all sorts of plants that God has created with its fruits growing eternally.

Then at the centre of the mazed Garden stood one big apple tree.

The only tree that stands out among all. Beautiful flowers surrounds the path towards the tree and I imagine tiny angels glowing around it as they flap their golden wings of heaven dust.

Even all species of animals and insects are there but they remain harmless to us. Is that how our paradise would look like in the end, I tend to wonder.

It'll be so amazing.

There'd even be oceans appearing at places at the Garden and cool lakes with swans floating about it.

This makes me wonder how heaven would look like now...

***

His scent I smell in the car,

it lingered on the sides of the seatbelt and chair,

His face had no scar,

instead it was charming and handsome.

His skin brushed mine so softly,

I thought it was silk that I touched,

he owns the colour of dark milk,

it made him look gentle.

And finally his eyes are twinkling marbles,

that when he looks at ne I could fall,

and his smile then followed by laughters in the crowd of tables,

it drives anybody to turn and look in million wonders.

Choir Competition

THIRD. Is not such a bad place to fall on. BUT, it's such a bad position to get especially when St Marians are SECOND. I know, What The Fuck right? But I somehow, learned to calm down and accept the fact that maybe we just weren't as good as the judges expect us to be. And no doubt, Green Road School was amazingly good. I had many many goosebumps when I heard them...

*sigh*
I'll keep revenge for next year. LOL.

Say hello to me St Joseph School! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Choir in Merdeka Palace

The world and its people can be havoc sometimes. Imagine living in your own country and entering one of its 5 star hotel, then act as if you're a foreigner. Isn't it such a weird thing to do? Shouldn't we just be glad and proud of what our country has produced for the new generation and for other people to see?

I'm just saying this coz this was what I observed after staying a night at one of Malaysia's 5 star hotel - Merdeka Palace - with the school choir. We were supposedly performing for an ocassion which we were asked to attend too. It was so boring okay, no offence to those who find it interesting. Most of the time, I find myself just thinking about the Choir Competition coming up this Wednesday or maybe about my brother's trip to Selangor tomorrow. There was nothing in my mind that spoke in relation to the event I was at. And also, I find it surprising that I wanted to talk to my friend who called me more than I wanted to sat in the hall and listen to a couple of blab that I didn't understand much. Seriously, he mocked Fifa World Cup! It was no doubt funny but COME ON, you don't go round mocking football! Lame much?

Anyway, back to the topic; the students of St Teresa. Damn, they can become a little egoistic. I'm serious. They act as if they belong in the hotel and gave no care to other people living there. Especially the Americans who need their rest for they may have an early flight the following day. And these students, knowing that everything was already set, wanted to change what was done. Example: room changing, teacher's daughter...well, they know the real shit. I can't exactly say much or I'll be very much doomed before I even know it.

When we arrived there in the afternoon, the very first act they did was made McDonald mess in the lobby! They ate and ate and dropped onions and laughed like witches and squealed when one tries to steal a fry and just made our school endure perfect humiliation. This is what a normal Malaysian would call us: SAKAI. Jeez, I don't get what it wrong with girls from my school. They're just absolutely noisy and they have NO UTTER DICIPLINE. I hate to complain but that's what I'm doing now and I just want them to be a real student for once. If this kind of attitude goes on during the competition this Wednesday, I give you my word, WE'LL ALL BE DOOMED.

But I appreciate what they gave me today though; time to teach to the end of time. They actually paid attention to my teachings and I was having a great time despite my growling hungry stomach this morning.

Back to where I was, after check in - 2 hours of waiting in the lobby! I could have came at 3pm! NOT 1pm! - we had to attend some foolish seminar. Everyone was sleepy and just wanted to get out from our uniforms and have a wonderful shower. We wanted the soft bed and cold room. But noooooo, we had to sit for an hour and a half and listen to blabs of nothing that we understood. Maybe some pictures were entertaining but overall, what a sleepy talk! When we finally got to the room it was shower, then dinner! Food was amazing but room service that night was much better. Merdeka Burger and Fish & Chips! It was food feast in my suite and we slept with a full stomach. Yum yum. xD

My opinion about the performance was just an OKAY. They weren't so bad they weren't so good either. I pray to Daddy God that we win the competition this Wed. I did my part in teaching them and making them the best they could but so far they haven't reached my satisfaction yet but hopefully - fingers crossed - hopefully we win and make it to Nationals. I would LOVE THAT SO FRIGGIN BAD!

And I also wish they'd behave. Don't act like 'SAKAI'. Heh.

Oh crap, gotta go prepare bro's clothes now. Goin to ranch! Meet granny and long lost relative whom I call big bro BOY! xDD Awesomeness..

TOODLES!

PS. SPAIN WON!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a parent can become...

ONE: Unsupportive
TWO: Naggy
THREE: Overly Control Freak

I can't stand it when they start with the THREE. They should be letting me go already. I'm no longer a child okay. And please, I could use a little ONE since you're my parent? Why did you have to go and TWO me about my status in school, my hopeless future and lazy life. I know I can get what I want for my future if I really want it. I definitely and OBVIOUSLY won't go anywhere far if they keep TWO me! UGH.

Maybe i'm wrong to say these, maybe i'm just being my egoistic and full of pride self, but i feel hurt when they actually do all this towards me. Can you imagine how you would feel if your own mother discourages you from studying when you're just about to tell her about the applications of a full scholarshiP!?

Geez, something is just cracked with the world now.

I promise that I will not block my children's life. That's for sure.

UNBELIEVABLE!

First Brazil, now ARGENTINA TOO!!? WTF MAN! AAAGGHH! SO ANNOYED.

The friggin game kept me awake all night okay. I was so certain that Argentina could at least win the game against Germany since Brazil had broken my friggin heart! AGH! STUPID. ISH. I wouldn't mind if the score was 1-0. BUT 4-0! @#$%&%%#%%%!!!!!

The world has officially gone mad. And Messi is just..very MESSY. Ish. I's still a loyal Argentina fan though, but COME ON, GIVE ME SOMETHING. Oh God...even great Brazil could be eliminated. I TOTALLY STILL HAVE MY FIT. =.=

I'm also going crazy. I was from the ranch earlier this morning, coming home and I saw a billboard of Messi; AND I actually scowled at it and said how disappointed I was. LOL.

GGEEEEEZZZZ..