missing you..

there would come this moment where when i stop thinking of you, you tend to flood back into my mind like some sort of virus. there would come this time when i start thinking of you, you make my heart ache like pink prickling from the inside of it. why is it that i feel such way? why is it that my feelings are different from when i was in a relationship with another in the pass? i never felt such intensity with the person i was with before. i never missed him like i miss you. i don't ache from his absence. and when he returns from such absence, i don't jump in delight the way i do with you.

strange must i say? or is it just a confusion that my mind play with me?

i don't know what to agree with. i don't know whether it's wise for me to even feel this way. is it a mental state to ache for the presence of a partner? or do they call it love? funny, many love encounters have i thought were true but when it comes to you my darling, i couldn't say whether it's real. i couldn't say it's you that is the one. or rather i wouldn't? maybe i don't want to jinx you. maybe i want you to be such one that i refuse to think like i typically would with one that i like. but you're not just one to like. i love you. really? im uncertain. help. i need guidance. i don't know whether i want him as the one and well, i do now. i do always i think.

sweetheart, be gone all you want now and make my heart ache. make me crave and long for you and let me see how long this will last. if it's until the day you return, then most likely it is you that i want for always. gasping thought really. how could such young mind think so. how could such little creature know so. i dont know either. im lost. and i want your care because i've not had such from someone like you. as the last one was a heartbreaker. i wish you not be one. i wish you always be the one to bring smiles on my face. genuine smiles though. not one that daily sees on me. not one that friends entice on me. it's one that only a person with love like yours can bring. a love that bitter, sweet, strong, impatient, mad...perhaps that smile now.

be gone and let me miss you. let me see how long i can last. forever may bring good fortune to my heart as it means it's you i want. be gone now. loves from me...