4 hours without you...

IS LIKE 4 LIGHTYEARS. T.T

it all started with a game...-.-

Bloody game. If it wasn't for that, I won't be missing him so much. I hope he doesn't read my blog, coz then he'll know that I actually miss him. Heheehehehehe. Coz y'know, I told him I won't miss him. :D LAME SHIT RIGHT?

And the damness of all damness is that it started from the fact that I told him I wasted my credit marketing on St Joseph's Band Dinner. -.- Then he was like worried whether I have credit to message him which is an obvious DUH coz I text him for free. LOL. Then I bargained on the idea that he won't survive without me texting him and he denied it. So we started this game where he and I won't text till the end of tomorrow. The problem is...I miss him already. SOBS. I wanna text him. SHIT LA. -.-

But then I told myself, i'm not gonna ever text him until he calls me to admit that he's a brat and that he missed me so much and that he was just trying so hard not to lose the game. HAHAHAHAHAA. I'm mean right? And insane. And control freak. :D

And when he does that, I think i'd finally tell him that..y'know..I..y'know....HEHEH..the step higher than LIKE..Y'KNOW. xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD *blushing terribly* MAYBE LA. I'm not sure whether i'd tell him right away. Maybe i'd wait till I go back to Kuching, so I can tell him in front of him and see him smile with the sets of dimples showing. And his cute lil braces smile giving me butterflies. And..AND..just hug him and feel his warmth. =/ why am I torturing myself?? NOW I WANNA TEXT HIM. SOBS!! ><"

I should stop talking now right? RIGHT? Eeeeee..

Running in the rain barefooted with the person you love...

It's like a hollywood story. You meet, you talk, you're friends, and before you know it, you're designated lovers. Ain't it cliche? Or is it simply the struck of emotions and cupid's arrow?

I started off college mindless, vulnerable to every coming challenges but I was ready. And when I stepped into the cold carpeted classroom, the people I met gave me culture shock so much I was quiet almost the entire day. However, i'd of course gotten used to that by now. In fact, they're all my friends. Probably bitching about me behind my back perhaps, but what the hell right? Life sucks and you die.

Anyways, if I wasn't mistaken, it was my second week of college when I found out that there was a couple in our class. I was once again shocked at the news because in my mind, it was impossible for someone to fall for each other and get together just within a few weeks. It was mad! It was undoubtly psychotic. But then I thought to myself, I fell deeply for a friend through the phone. Isn't that supposedly crazier? From then, I learned not to judge a person in relationship wise by how long they've met and whatnot because karma might just hit.

The good part of that new beginning was that they were a happy couple. Yeah, they fight and all. But hey, that's the good shit we're all suppose to feed in love. I mean, if there's love without any fights, would it be love at all? How would you know how to love someone without knowing their madness, anger level, insanity, to wrap it up: TRUE COLOURS. A person deserved to be given affection by knowing that the feeling isn't fake. It should be pure like water. Okay, maybe not water. That's not pure. It's derived from pee for heaven's sake! -.- Anyways..let's say...ah shit. I have no idea what else is pure at the moment, so we'll pretend I referred to something pure okay? HEHE.

Anyways, falling back into the story line, i'd like to say that they're so cute. They look totally the opposite. The girl is small, petite, adorable in many ways and she's just so hyperactive. As for the guy, he resembles the teddy bear y'know? Large, buff, big, tall and also well hyperactive. AND. They're both loud. LOL. And just a few minutes ago I read a post of them running in the rain barfooted yesterday. Cute right? Such sweeties. :D I hope they don't read my blog though coz i'd be busted in class for posting on them. Therefore, I have no picture to put of them. I wouldnt' wanna be killed. Lol.

Okay, i'm getting busier with work once more. Gotta go off now. >< You know who I miss? This guy I call Dear. :D <3

1.4.3 on the morning of 17th Feb.

He called. On the late night of 16th Feb at 11.56am. :"> and gave me a 1.4.3 by the early morning of 17th Feb. I'm an idiot flying in the sky...HEHEHE. Loves..

Stalkers should get a life. -.-

Seriously, why be a stalker when you can actually have friends and be a man to friggin' ask a girl out if you like them. JEEZ. Stalkers shouldn't exist in this world. No, let me rephrase, Stalkers shouldn't exist and the word itself shouldn't even be created! Crazy shit okay!

Being one of those creeps may be fun, creeping about people's business as if it's your own curtain to wash. But if you're in the shoe of the victim, it's really seriously crazily scary. If there was a legal rule about this whole stalking scheme I think i'd sue you, bring the matter to court and plead you to be sentenced under DEATH. I WANT YOU TO GO TO HELL. SO YOU WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE. -.-

Stupid Idiots.

Last 27th Jan 2011

Weirdly, there this guy. So we name him Dear. He popped up in my Facebook screen all friendly like he never used to be when we're around each other. I mean, we are friendly and all, but not like that. Besides, it was after all out of the blue.

Then in the matter of no time, he asked for my number. I was disturbingly shocked by this but I told myself that he was just asking for my number. What else could he possibly have meant by it right? He was my friend so what's the harm in giving it to him.

I know posting this in my blog should make my face crimson red, but I actually don't mind sharing. =) Coz I know, I think, wait..I don't know. I knowthinkdontknow that I mightlikenotlikebutlikehim? HEHEHEHE. Damn, this is harder than I thought.

And so at this particular date, all this strange things happened. We texted, chatted as a friend. Then gradually, it became more of a sweet talk between me and him. Honestly, I didn't hate the feeling. I LIKED it. It's like I found some long lost buddy and I was just glad and eager to have him by me like that.

Of course, as a girl, I had to tell a girlfriend right? It's like some priority I must do. And I didn't just tell ANY girl. I told the one girl who could or could not have or might kill me or just gasp and die. I told her. She's not my bestfriend, but she's more of a sister. :D She knows she love me so I'd call her my Bebs. Yeah, I told her and she thought I had lost my brain actually. She thought Dear had lost his brain too. Heck, I thought that too! I mean, was he blind? I'm not the typical kind who wears girly stuff, do girly stuff, keep my hair in a girly way, make sure I smell girly. For me, that's like YUCK. No offense. Lol. I'm just not like that. I'm weird. xP

So we talked, then we laughed. But then we became serious again because she warned me that if I didn't clear things up, it might become something bad like it did before Dear. So then I became stressed out. Somehow, everytime Dear texted me, I get butterflies. I felt squirmy in a good way. Like like..like a kid going to get her first lollipop. :D No, i'm serious. HEHEHE.

Eventually, the day came. It was on the 1st of February, we were talking about stuff involving "beautiful". My heart was crushing when I was thinking of coming clear with him. As much as I wanted to know the truth of it all, I also didn't want this fancy feeling to fade. But I prayed, and I texted him everything I thought of our ridiculous way of chatting. And what I got in reply, was the SAME CONFUSION. =="

We discussed the matter. Said how we felt about it all. And when the truth revealed itself, I was quite surprised. Like really surprised. I didn't know where to begin things with and I surely didn't know how to continue our friendship that way. However, Dear managed to pull himself together and helped me pull myself together as well. He said that we should get to know each other more and slowly take a step forward. Naturally, with reluctance, I agreed. I had to. I felt the same way so why not right?

Then, just yesterday, the 3rd of Feb, Chinese New Year, it was our one week so-called "anniversary" for knowing each other through the phone. Don't get me wrong, I didn't count the days! It so happened that I remembered. ><"

*sigh*
Therefore, until today, we're still talking. Sweetly. Feelings fall free and well, I hope nothing goes wrong..coz I really have no intention in hurting him. Saying all this may make me the lamemest person ever, but hey, everybody's got LAME plastered on their ass no matter what they say. HAHAHAHAHAA.

The End. xD

Dear Diary

I LOST MY PHONE AND MY HARD DRIVE WHERE ALL MY DOCUMENTS ARE. Shit. Luckily I have my novel in hardcopy. Shit man. Really shit. *sigh* If I were to lose all my novel stuff, I would die coz I wrote that for almost 5 years already..

Dear God, You are great in many ways.

You know what; FUCK YOU.

What the hell is wrong with people nowadays? You think you can barge into a printing shop without sufficient infomation for the worker to understand what you wanna do with your blood fuckfolio?! GEEZ. THIS IS CALLED A PHOTOCOPY AND PRINTING SHOP. NOT A "FIX MY FUCKFOLIO BEFORE YOU PUNCH HOLE" SHOP. I PUNCH YOUR ASSHOLE THEN YOU KNOW. Geez, GO TO HELL. YOU MAKE ME SO MAD I WANNA GIVE YOU A PIECE OF MY FIST!

Urgh.

Then there's this elderly woman, who think she's all that. Woman, i've been trying to keep my anger down for you. I've been nice, respectful but you come in the shop like you own it and telling me what i'm supposed to be doing. If you want it all right, why don't you PHOTOCOPY IT YOURSELF!? Hell, you don't even know how to use a bloody penknife! FUCK YOU! GO TO THE PIT OF HELL. I'm the one who's gonna go down to the fire for saying all this crap, BUT WHATEVER, I'LL MEET YOU THERE FUCKSHITASS FACE! I'm giving you a simple cheap price, but you wanna trouble me to give you expensive price, WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I should be happy that I have profit from you cheating your own price, BUT NO. I'M MAD THAT YOU WON'T BLOODY PAY JUST WHAT I GAVE YOU.

SIAO CHA BO! Urgh.

Odor of the Unliving Soul

It was time for me to go to sleep. I crawled onto bed, feeling tired and restless and basically felt nothing to worry about. The darkness swallowed me and took me strolling in Dreamland. It was all blurry to come to think about it now. The more I think about it, the more I couldn't remember what I dreamnt about. I know I had a great sleep and the night breeze came in through the open window like waterfall which made the room cool and comfortable for someone to wrap up in their blanket.

However, somewhere in the middle of the night, I awoke from an odor so bad I thought I could throw up. The smell wasn't there always so I thought I was just imagining things. Maybe it was just the smell of the pillow I was sleeping on. I closed my eyes to go back to my interupted sleep, and again the smell floated by my nostrils. My eyes flashed opened and it stared into the darkness, searching for the source of the smell. Was someone in the room? Was there a robber? I found that question idiotic since I was living in my relatives 15th floor apartment. How could anyone come through the security, or maybe climb up that 15 stories? My eyes were then wide open, unable to sleep coz I was then suddenly afraid that it might be "something". After all, I was living in some place new. This wasn't my home. This was someone else's home. I wouldn't know what might have happened here.

My heart thudded fast and heat was beginning to prick up my neck. I stopped breathing for that horrible odor was getting my gut to gurgle. I was gonna throw up. In bed. Period. After a minute passed. I breathed again. Yes, I counted as I held my breath. I was praying that all that was just again, my imagination. There's no such thing as ghost. Mum always told me the tale that when you smell something horrible out of the blue, like it wasn't supposed to be there, don't ever mention it coz it's just a lost spirit passing by. I never believed it, but I always kept to her words. I never said anything. But does that count as believe? I don't know. I hope it doesn't count. I'm a Christian and my faith is strong I would like to proclaim. So I put aside that silly thought of the possibility of a spiritt being in my room while I sleep. I threw it to the back of my mind and closed my eyes to sleep.

Naturally I breathed, forcing myself back to sleep. Then I smelled it again. I was getting scared again. I sniffed mto find where the smell was coming from, but I couldn't find it. Just when I stopped sniffing, I smelled it as if it was jusy beside me. I was so scared, too scared in fact to even grab my blanket that was rumpled below my feet. I was too scared to even move my feet to warm them. All I manage was to take my phone to check the time; it was about six something if not mistaken, and my eyes were once again scrolling the room to find anything that might scare the living hell out of my core. I could imagine that smell to be a female. She had long, thick dark hair. Her face was unable to be seen nor to be described. She was just scary and she was around that room.

I move my body, laying flat on my back. I made the sign of the cross, put my hands together and prayed the Our Father, Hail Mary and my personal prayer asking for God to protect me and the family I was living with. Guide the lost unfortunate soul some place secure and bright where she will meet with Jesus. I prayed with my eyes closed and when I was done, I continued back to sleep for another half hour before I had to get up to my alarm. I could still smell the nasty thing, but I grabbed for my pillow an covered my nose with the pillow case. Before I knew it, I woke up for work..still thinking about it in the shower and even now while blogging. I was even scared to get dressed this morning. Nonsense shit right?

Well, I supposed i'm just a pussy when it comes to facing this kind of stuff, but i'm not much of it when I write about it. The tension just needs to be shared. =)

God bless...

Darn..she's AWESOME!