I Passed My Driving! xD

Hello bloggy!
I PASSED MY DRIVING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Well, that's something for me to be proud about coz now i'm free to drive off whenever I want. The only annoying thing is that I have to be the driver to both my mum and bro now. =.=

The test wasn't as bad as I imagined. I thought i'd end up with one of the mean JPJ but instead, I ended up with a bald nice looking one. He was polite ok! Nothing as I expected. xD But I dislike him for cutting my marks with the reason of me not checking my back and rearview mirror. I SO DID. But whatever, I passed! 18/20 marks! =D

The fact that I was asked to test on road C was crazy! I forgot how the road supposedly went. I nearly go mad coz I can't remember the route. But lucky me, and billion thanks to Our Mighty Lord, He helped me and showed me the way. ^^

Phew. Well, that's today! Off I go now to prepare myself for EST exam tomorrow.

TOODLES!

X'mas Spirit!

It's two weeks to Christmas!! xD I'm so excited and also so tired of being alert in my life. It seems like I have no time to slow myself down because I have so much in mind as to what activities are coming up in the coming days.

I've got my driving practice tomorrow then my final paper of High School on Wednesday followed by Youth Camp on Thursday to Sunday and then there's evening mass on that same Sunday. Sounds pack eh? I'd better be a robot. ><" After that Sunday, i'd probably have to go up to kampung to chill out with my granduncle's family who came to Kuching for a litlle vacation. We might or might not have a family gathering at his place and that'll once again take away rest. I don't think the word 'rest' or even 'peace' exist in my holiday vocabulary. I'm like a business woman who doesn't even have any business to deal with! LOL.

Then Tuesday comes along with the family camping. The thing's only one day, but still the thought of it is a lot of work. It may be fun at some stage, but the result would be tire! exhaust! sleepy! muscle ache! Oh no, crazy...

And when my days suddenly become free, CHRISTMAS COMES ALONG! There's be houses to visit. Masses to attend. People's wedding to sing for. Hahaha! I know, that's way out of line. But hey, if you're ready to be married, you just gotta go for it! xD And then, the New Year's gathering with the whole family. Ahh...

Baby Jesus, please give us a good year ahead. 2011 is sure gonna be somethin. That's what I believe at least. You never know, I could just be lucky and land myself a good guy to date, a good school to attend, and a good future ahead. HEHEHEHEHE. Or maybe i'd just remain single, working in some sober shop and live life to craziest! HAHAHAHAAHA!!

Anyhow, mum's making me go to sleep now. I know, i'm 17 and I still need to be told when to sleep. *sigh* Off I go then. Not to sleep though, TO READ. *grin* "Italian For Beginners" I tell ya. The guy character is HAWT!

LMAO!!

Peace Out. ^^

BOTIE xD

I had this dream a month ago if not mistaken. It was about this crush of mine. Oh dear lord, he's SO CUTE. +.= Why can't he be mine??! Well, his name is "................." so we'll just name him Botie aite? HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. In the dream, he was talking to me! How impossible for that to happen in reality I tell ya. xD

So I was at a jeti. I was talking to an unknown guy about him trying to save this important tunnel to him. Then I saw that the wheater changed and that feeling of panic hit me in the gut. It was going to storm and all my mind chanted was that we had to get out from the jeti. Unknowingly, a huge tree branch fell into the lake and that was our final warning. We both ran as fast as we could as it started to pour heavily. However, when I searched around, I wasn'y anywhere near any jeti. I was in an isolated parking lot. People were vacating the area but my feet were dragging me somewhere instead of following those people who may or may not be choosing to save their lives.

Then I passed the men's dressing room. Weird, I know. Then I was teleported to the men's shower room! Only this time, I was finally a girl. I was initially a man. LOL. I had this feeling of searching for someone. I just didn't know who I was searching for or rather what I was searching for. I walked until I reached a stair alike to the ones they put in the pool. I climbed down willingly, to God knows where that time. My mind was unable to tell where I was supposed to reach with that stair. When I looked up while going down, I saw NECKTIE! (Botie's bro). He was looking especially crispy and not to forget hot. And when I looked to the corner as my feet met the ground, I saw Botie. FINALLY RIGHT?! He caught me looking at him and he managed a smile that was SO HOT! Unfortunately, I just walked away.

I KNOW! WALKED AWAY! WITHOUT EVEN CARING HE LOOKED HOT. AND SMILING AT ME! WHAT THE HELL!

I had an ice cream in hand suddenly and the angry feeling flooded me. So I was walking, then I felt Botie walking by my side.He was quiet but I somehow knew what he was trying to attempt. I knew he wanted to be there for me. (OH HOW I DAMN WISH THAT WAS TRUE) So with the anger and knowledge of what he wanted, I said,
"Don't. Just don't, okay?"

I looked at him and he nodded tentatively, still staying beside me ever so SEXILY! I'm going insane! Then in my dream, after saying what I said to him, I felt guilty. With no real reason. So I said,
"I'm sorry. I'm just...so...angry!" I motioned my anger with the ice cream that was in my hand.

Botie scooted closer to my side and he chuckled a little. I FORGOT WHAT HE SAID TO ME THOUGH. BLOODY DREAM WAS SO HARD TO RECALL. But moving on with what I can remember.

We were suddenly climbing shelves in a store? Unusual but whatever, a dream is always a dream. Besides, he was making me feel better. I'd take that any time than thinking bout the weird situation. We laughed and talked a bit about his bro, Necktie. It was such a crucial dream that I wanted to kill myself when I woke up. How could my dream do this to me?! How could it made me jealous?!

Then suddenly, we were figuring out how to put down the stacks of files on the shelf so we could walk through the shelf to go to the pool. Awkward again. How the hell do you walk through a shelf to the pool? Anyway, when we were half way done, a damned PREFECT! tapped me on the shoulder and said that break was over and I shouldn't take the files down. So Botie helped me put them back where they belong. Eventually, at some part I was suddenly annoyed because there was suddenly so many earphones. And Botie wasn't anywhere in sight anymore.

I woke up disappointed. =.= BUT I HAD A DREAM OF HIM ANYWAY. xDDDDDDDDDDDDD

The countdown

Saturday. Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Monday. SPM! DIE DIE DIE DIE.

Gawd, one week to complete my revision. So far, i've only completed Math, English, and well, that's about it I guess. DIE DIE DIE DIE. I took Julian's advice by where I arrange my time well for studies. I did! I swear! But still, I couldn't finish my History because I take forever to read 2 pages! It's so hard to get it in my mind sometimes. It's not as intriguing as it seems on the very first time I read it anymore. I read the line and I go "Oh no, i'm crazy over Botie" Psycho! I can't focus that's what. Besides that, I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED ANY OF MY SCIENCE SUBJECTS! Physics is in the second week if i'm not mistake. There're tips, but hell, I couldn't do that well with tips ONLY. I insist that I should finish up my syllabus.

*sigh*

This could be the end of me. The end of Janine Kimura!

But God willing, IT SHALL NOT BE THE END OF ME. =D I will go on studying no matter what. Even if it takes forever, I will do what I can. Even if it doesn't finish, I will do as if I have. HAHAHAHAHHA. I've gone mad.

OH OH! Daddy's colouring his colourless baby picture in the computer. Ain't it awesome what technology these days provide? xD I sure hope I could relate that somewhere in my essays. Hehehehe.

OKOK! I GOTTA GO STUDY. No one seems to be tagging me in Facebook anymore. I guess it's a sign for me to log off?

Peace.Out.

27 days left

Less than 4 weeks to my finals! Oh God, i'm scared but i'm also lazy. What the hell is wrong with me?! I haven't really finish my revision yet. Everywhere I go, people are sticking their nose into books. And not just any books, but revision books. Thick, heavy, colourful and overused revision books. Heck, mine still looks as new as when I bought it! How? Why? What the hell???!

I study. At least I try to. But sometimes, it won't go. And I take forever to finish a page of shit for History. In my opinion, the books seem to have this way of wanting to brainwash people. All we learn in that book is something I in particular have no interest of knowing. I'm Christian (Catholic). Not a Muslim. I know it's pretty offensive to say things like this but I just want people to know. It's not right to force a religion into a person who doesn't have the heart for it. I get it; why not just learn it right? What if you're Muslim and you have no interest in learning abut Christianity, and I force informations on it to you, WOULD YOU BLOODY LIKE IT? Will you let me go on or would I find myself dead by the second?

Geez.

Then there's the Additional Maths. I love calculations, numbers and whatnots. BUT. Addmath is driving me insane! All teacher does is give us crazy bunches of paper works to complete as if we don't got nothing else in the world to do. Hello? I have got 9 other subjects to review on. The teacher don't expect her student to only get 1 A right?

Life is great. Annoying. Simply imperfect. But life in SCHOOL, is a whole load of shit that kills the trees! =="

Peace Out.

Today's bit..

Dear Blog,
someone fainted in school today. LOL. I know, it's kinda not good to talk about it - especially in my own blog - but I doubt she would mind. She's my classmate. I think she had too much from our EST teacher that's why. First of all, it wasn't quite right for the Madame to actually tell her off publicly. I understand that maybe she just wanted her students to be as good as she expects but telling her mistakes to her face in front of the whole class is kind of humiliating. I mean, the girl respects you! Try giving some back to her. I'm sure she gave her best because she only wanted to please you. Who the hell wants to screw up her paper when it's the Pre-Finals right? Heh..

That's just my opinion on it though. When the class ended, she was crying and well, the teacher wanted to see her personally - a little too late for that doncha agree? - but she fainted when a friend hugged her for comfort. Then rumours flew about that she was ill. I wouldn't write it down though, just in case i'm spreading the false. But I pray that she be okay and God bless her sad soul. She needs to be tough because teachers are often cruel with words but has a good intention to it. Like my parents like to do; they say all the bad stuff to insult me but they actually were giving me encouragement to struve harder. It sometimes triggers my nerves because I hate that kind of doings but whatever, if my mood is good, I ain't giving no shit. Heh..I dunno whether that line made sense. But I understood it so what the hell right? xD

Anyway! We had church practice today for tomorrow's feast. Hopefully - cross fingers - that everything runs okay. I wouldn't want somebody to break a nail or lose their voice. It's just church, NOT a concert. LOL. God's will that it'll be fine. =) I kinda appreciate everything they gave me though. It's cool, they respected me the way I respected them. I may not be as good as another friend of mine who has a good ear for music but at least what I created this afternoon was pretty solid. I'm excited! Just like a little kid getting lollipop!!

Yeah...I guess that's todays bit. Oh!! Hahahahahah!! I signed up in this website where I get to publish my essays and crap too! That was yesterday though. So far, i'm only on my second fiction essay. I still got loads to upload in but it takes forever so what the shit. I'll take my time. Hehehehehe!!

Okay, Imma go now. I still got English to finish. And maybe Math and AddMath.

OH, I FAILED HISTORY. DAMN!

Mock has left town

I have officially completed my mock exam and i'm so ready to be back into the world of blogging and writing shit and making my world un-coockoo! Well, although it's over to sit for, it's not over for the waiting for results. That's going to suck. The best one I think *crosses fingers* is my Mathematics. I hope it's 100 though. I'm awfully confident that I answered everything right. I think i'll have 2 A's, 2 fails, and 8 pass. LOL!

Anyhus, I'm tired after having mass just now and not resting since this morning so imma have some beauty sleep. Tomorrow is an early morning to start with and I don't wanna be jogging half asleep. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

AND OH MY GAWD! HE'S SO HOT! xDDDDDDD

Peace out. ;)

ABSENT

I'm not in school. Shockers. So annoying.

KILL ME ALREADY.

Study Mode

WOW. I am actually studying!

I'm on chapter 3 of Chemistry form 4 right now, hoping to learn what my mistakes in the bloody mole calculations. ^^ So far, i'm loving it coz it's like learning Math only with the chemical compounds to understand.

While at it too, i'm taking an advantage to blog right now. xD HHAHAHA. Tomorrow would be exactly one month left before the mock examination. Now, now, I don't want to fail this so i've set a few task for myself. One includes the no internet unless i've done what i'm supposed to in my studies. Like right now! I just finished reading 3.4 and on the way of doing the practice but before I go on, I shall right first. Teehee.

I think that's all i'm gonna say. If I don't log in here my deary blog, it means me hafta focus on studying. But i'll be back by December on full speed baby! =D

CAN'T WAIT!

Life of the lazy High School girl ;P

And the drum rolls! TADAA! It's me! xD

The reason I call myself lazy is because I've been skipping a lot of school these days. My goodness. Can you believe it, I woke up late today! Like LATE AS IN ALMOST 10am!

Maybe it's because I haven't got any propper sleep last week due to exams and today was just the perfect sleep. =D I don't even remember how I got on bed. Hahahaha. All I know is that I woke up with my Physics paper and pen next to my head. LOL.

I want to go to school actually. I hate waking up late. How the hell can I stop that?! ==" GRRR.

EXAM!

I know it's not right to panic about MONTHLY exam and I should be worrying more on the FINAL exam but I can't help it. My heart goes DUB DAB DUB DAB DUB DAB!!! when I think about it. "Let's see...three days to exam..." *DUB DAB DUB DAB!* Agh!!! Help, I haven't finished my studies yet. I'm eager to though. For the first time in 2 years. It feels like sitting for PMR again except, this FINAL is not going to set a class for me next year. It's going to set my life in the future.

DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.

Well, I'll look on the bright side of coming to school today; it's FIRST FRIDAY! Morning service was great although it wasn't a smooth ride. There were pitchy times, no sound, bass out of tune, organist sesat, and many many more yet we're alive and the second round of the new management is better than ever from the times the old management was on. =D I hope the person who reads this isn't from the old management. Even so, i'm sorry if you're hurt. It's just me to say it in this damn blog that hasn't been updated in centuries. LOL.

And then and then like OMG!! I found a new crush! *squeals!!!* He's the ideal character for OBNOXIOUS, BOSSY AND JUST CHARMING LOOKING. Geez. He tends to look smart, and he wears ****** (I don't wanna write that, just in case I make it too obvious coz that's like his main eye catcher now xD) Anyway, omg, I never thought I would actually take obnoxious guys for cute! He is just...*Sigh in the melting way* HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I bet Melinda wants to strangle me. I just know it. Even when I haven't tell her my new agenda on cute boys. I just know she would want to. =D

ACK! Weird laptop needs to restart. TOODLES!

I miss you =(

I miss grandpa. I want him to come back and hug me like he used to when I was little.
I miss daddy. He used to talk to me and ask me all sorts of questions but not anymore.
I miss my ex. I wanted to cry when mom brought him up just now.

Missing someone sucks. Especially missing my ex. ><

sick yet hard

I don't what her real deal is. Isn't it enough that Daddy troubles me EVERYTIME?! Can't she just become a simple person who asks how my day went in school, makes me propper lunch, and not nag me the moment I step foot on the white tile of the place I call home. It doesn't even feel like home when she does that! It makes me want to run off and just forget I even have a family.

Now that she's sick, I thought I would come home to a quiet house, with nothing to eat on the table (I don't mind that since she's sick but it's like this everyday) but no. I came home with her greeting me a distance from the main door, mumbling words I couldn't understand and I hated that she was like that. I just got home from school and already I'm feeling the pressure of actually being at home! What am I? NOT human? NOT her daughter? NOT a stressed student with exam coming up in two weeks?

It's like she expect to be treated like the princess/queen while she's sick. Hell, i'd cook you lunch, buy you food, do your laundry but I am not treating you any differently. I may be your daughter but I have been mad at you for so long now for what you did for me all these years. You are nothing to me. Mother I must call you but you piss me off and always give me no support and make me sad and alone all the time and you just kill my dreams. Is that really what a mother should be doing?

People can call me over the top for saying all this towards the woman who gave birth to me. Whatever okay. I don't give a damn. I prayed, and have not been very patient with anything all my life, I admit truthfully that I also may have doubted God, but I have had enough of this.

I keep trying to be the ideal daughter, but I can't. I took my friend's advice to stop yelling at her but when I try she yells louder and louder and LOUDER. It's a never ending story I tell you. It's like being cursed to something so painful.

I can't wait to turn eighteen, really. I can't wait to go away. Even if I have to stay in a low life apartment, I'd take it. Anytime than being home nagged all the time.

Jeez.

Swinburne Campus Tour

Today, we went to Swinburne College to check out the place and facillities they had. In my opinion, IT WAS FRIGGIN AWESOME! I love what they prepared for us there.

At first we were gathered in a hall (so sorry, I forgot the name! Damn) but anyway, we gathered there and collected our name tag with our group alphabet on in as well. Initially, we all hated the group thingy coz we all had to be separated from our friends. Especially me being away from my darling Phoebe. She wanted so badly to join the Science section but her name was placed under the Arts section. Sad was the first impression but she got over it. Complaints were to be done later in the day, though. Hahahahah!!

I was lucky enough to be placed under the Science section. We had loads of activities in four classes. The very first one was my favourite; Website making. I was so amused that by using a simple Notepad we could create such an adorable page on the internet. Sadly, the lecturer didn't get to finish up her talk because her time was up and it was time to go make out handcream in the biotech lab! AHAHAHAHA. So much fun okay, just the science failure that was very unfortunate. Our hand cream (Me and a new friend. I think her name was Shetty?? Hehehehe), was a total disaster! Instead of looking like cream, it looked almost similar to Campbell Soup. Yuck! And it smells like antiseptic! LOL.

After that, we had a thrid class which bored me to death to be honest. At least now I know, electrical stuff ain't my gig. I will never bother checking out engineering. xDD Not that i'm ever interested anyway. Our next class which was our final class was robotics!

You know, I have full proof now on why I never wanted to join robotics. I almost destroyed the robot. HAHAHHA. I didn't know how to program the darn thing and it drove away from us and the cable came off. LMAO! So hillarious. But at the end, we manage to get the robot to follow orders under the right program. =D

Then it was lunch time! It was such a hot day at the cafe. We were practically fanning our self with the end of our shirt. And wait for it; we were wearing white!

Luckily, right after lunch, activities all happens in the MPH (MultiPurpose Hall) Cute name right? xD And there, there the agenda begins with this one guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!

Okay, actually, it began before I even went to the hall. I bumped to him on the way out of the cafe. He walked in with his school shirt looking all fair and delicious! His hair was all spiked up and go figures, he's my age! WOOTS! Crazy to be tripping over a cute guy I know but what was I to do right? I am a normal girl with normal teenage hormones. LOL.

So the best part of the day, I conclude would be watching HIM all the time. SOOOOOO NOT EXHAUSTING. AND SOOOO MUCH FUN.

xDD I am so cheeky. Well, you got another piece of info about me now. HAHA!

TOODLES!

PS. I found him on FB! I totally adore my buddy for telling me his full name. HA!

the wonders of my mind

Have you ever wonder how the Eden Garden looks like?

For me, I imagine it a huge clear land, with all sorts of plants that God has created with its fruits growing eternally.

Then at the centre of the mazed Garden stood one big apple tree.

The only tree that stands out among all. Beautiful flowers surrounds the path towards the tree and I imagine tiny angels glowing around it as they flap their golden wings of heaven dust.

Even all species of animals and insects are there but they remain harmless to us. Is that how our paradise would look like in the end, I tend to wonder.

It'll be so amazing.

There'd even be oceans appearing at places at the Garden and cool lakes with swans floating about it.

This makes me wonder how heaven would look like now...

***

His scent I smell in the car,

it lingered on the sides of the seatbelt and chair,

His face had no scar,

instead it was charming and handsome.

His skin brushed mine so softly,

I thought it was silk that I touched,

he owns the colour of dark milk,

it made him look gentle.

And finally his eyes are twinkling marbles,

that when he looks at ne I could fall,

and his smile then followed by laughters in the crowd of tables,

it drives anybody to turn and look in million wonders.

Choir Competition

THIRD. Is not such a bad place to fall on. BUT, it's such a bad position to get especially when St Marians are SECOND. I know, What The Fuck right? But I somehow, learned to calm down and accept the fact that maybe we just weren't as good as the judges expect us to be. And no doubt, Green Road School was amazingly good. I had many many goosebumps when I heard them...

*sigh*
I'll keep revenge for next year. LOL.

Say hello to me St Joseph School! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

Choir in Merdeka Palace

The world and its people can be havoc sometimes. Imagine living in your own country and entering one of its 5 star hotel, then act as if you're a foreigner. Isn't it such a weird thing to do? Shouldn't we just be glad and proud of what our country has produced for the new generation and for other people to see?

I'm just saying this coz this was what I observed after staying a night at one of Malaysia's 5 star hotel - Merdeka Palace - with the school choir. We were supposedly performing for an ocassion which we were asked to attend too. It was so boring okay, no offence to those who find it interesting. Most of the time, I find myself just thinking about the Choir Competition coming up this Wednesday or maybe about my brother's trip to Selangor tomorrow. There was nothing in my mind that spoke in relation to the event I was at. And also, I find it surprising that I wanted to talk to my friend who called me more than I wanted to sat in the hall and listen to a couple of blab that I didn't understand much. Seriously, he mocked Fifa World Cup! It was no doubt funny but COME ON, you don't go round mocking football! Lame much?

Anyway, back to the topic; the students of St Teresa. Damn, they can become a little egoistic. I'm serious. They act as if they belong in the hotel and gave no care to other people living there. Especially the Americans who need their rest for they may have an early flight the following day. And these students, knowing that everything was already set, wanted to change what was done. Example: room changing, teacher's daughter...well, they know the real shit. I can't exactly say much or I'll be very much doomed before I even know it.

When we arrived there in the afternoon, the very first act they did was made McDonald mess in the lobby! They ate and ate and dropped onions and laughed like witches and squealed when one tries to steal a fry and just made our school endure perfect humiliation. This is what a normal Malaysian would call us: SAKAI. Jeez, I don't get what it wrong with girls from my school. They're just absolutely noisy and they have NO UTTER DICIPLINE. I hate to complain but that's what I'm doing now and I just want them to be a real student for once. If this kind of attitude goes on during the competition this Wednesday, I give you my word, WE'LL ALL BE DOOMED.

But I appreciate what they gave me today though; time to teach to the end of time. They actually paid attention to my teachings and I was having a great time despite my growling hungry stomach this morning.

Back to where I was, after check in - 2 hours of waiting in the lobby! I could have came at 3pm! NOT 1pm! - we had to attend some foolish seminar. Everyone was sleepy and just wanted to get out from our uniforms and have a wonderful shower. We wanted the soft bed and cold room. But noooooo, we had to sit for an hour and a half and listen to blabs of nothing that we understood. Maybe some pictures were entertaining but overall, what a sleepy talk! When we finally got to the room it was shower, then dinner! Food was amazing but room service that night was much better. Merdeka Burger and Fish & Chips! It was food feast in my suite and we slept with a full stomach. Yum yum. xD

My opinion about the performance was just an OKAY. They weren't so bad they weren't so good either. I pray to Daddy God that we win the competition this Wed. I did my part in teaching them and making them the best they could but so far they haven't reached my satisfaction yet but hopefully - fingers crossed - hopefully we win and make it to Nationals. I would LOVE THAT SO FRIGGIN BAD!

And I also wish they'd behave. Don't act like 'SAKAI'. Heh.

Oh crap, gotta go prepare bro's clothes now. Goin to ranch! Meet granny and long lost relative whom I call big bro BOY! xDD Awesomeness..

TOODLES!

PS. SPAIN WON!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a parent can become...

ONE: Unsupportive
TWO: Naggy
THREE: Overly Control Freak

I can't stand it when they start with the THREE. They should be letting me go already. I'm no longer a child okay. And please, I could use a little ONE since you're my parent? Why did you have to go and TWO me about my status in school, my hopeless future and lazy life. I know I can get what I want for my future if I really want it. I definitely and OBVIOUSLY won't go anywhere far if they keep TWO me! UGH.

Maybe i'm wrong to say these, maybe i'm just being my egoistic and full of pride self, but i feel hurt when they actually do all this towards me. Can you imagine how you would feel if your own mother discourages you from studying when you're just about to tell her about the applications of a full scholarshiP!?

Geez, something is just cracked with the world now.

I promise that I will not block my children's life. That's for sure.

UNBELIEVABLE!

First Brazil, now ARGENTINA TOO!!? WTF MAN! AAAGGHH! SO ANNOYED.

The friggin game kept me awake all night okay. I was so certain that Argentina could at least win the game against Germany since Brazil had broken my friggin heart! AGH! STUPID. ISH. I wouldn't mind if the score was 1-0. BUT 4-0! @#$%&%%#%%%!!!!!

The world has officially gone mad. And Messi is just..very MESSY. Ish. I's still a loyal Argentina fan though, but COME ON, GIVE ME SOMETHING. Oh God...even great Brazil could be eliminated. I TOTALLY STILL HAVE MY FIT. =.=

I'm also going crazy. I was from the ranch earlier this morning, coming home and I saw a billboard of Messi; AND I actually scowled at it and said how disappointed I was. LOL.

GGEEEEEZZZZ..

made in Sibu, born in Kuching

LMAO. This is an especially interesting topic for me. Just yesterday me and my mom were on the way back home after having a visit at the ranch and suddenly the topic of Sibu came up. And then she started talking about the days where she and dad met.

I was told that mom and dad had me - like did it you know - at Sibu while my mom was finishing up her final contract. Then I was born at Kuching, where they build a family and planned life. Weird right. The fact that I actually visited my origin last month. I didn't even know until yesterday! No wonder mom didn't object when I suddenly popped the question to go on the roadtrip with gramps. She told my dad that I had to meet where I came from anyway - honestly, I LOVE THE PLACE. Just hate the people. Really. There's this guy who tempered up when he was the one working so friggin slow. Customer's always right but he made it seem as if he was always right. I wanted to shoot him with a bottle of vodka!

HAHAHAHAHA.

Jeez. I'm so tired. Wanna sleep now folks. Goodnight cheeky peeps. Loves.

EMINEM ROCKS.

Report Card Day

I'm not sure how i'm supposed to feel at this point. I'm all dressed, ready to head to school with mom to take my report card and probably a few complaints from the teacher who doesn't really fancy my ass. Should I be a nervous wreck since my mom is getting to see my 2 fail subjects and 6 fish's lives and only 2 A's? LOL. I know, I know...that sucks but I promise to catch up with it okay. I wouldn't want to graduate a failure now would I? That'll be a no one at my graduation okay! And that's supposed to be a great day since I'm ending the High School Years. Wish I could go to prom though; with a date that is.

Agh, sucks being single. But still fun coz there's no friggin jealousy or what not. Oh well.

Eeehh! Mom is goin to the poop department and now time is being delayed. ==" I hate it when we go late to collect my hprrible results. It's so shameful and we just need to go when the late hpurs has arise where a LOT of people would be there huh...

GRRR...

Okay then, I wanna go watch my Sam & Dean now. And catch up with Castiel! OH MEE GAWD. He's such a sexy angel.

Toodles! Loveeesss....xoxo

Semester 2 of SCHOOL

Agh. I like school; because I see friends, learn something new and be someone to achieve life but today, the second day of school's opening was dreadful to me. All I did was came for assembly (didn't listen at all but copied Britney's math book that I was supposed to finish up during the 3 weeks holidays. LOL), go to class - Bio was interestingly 'I-don't-get-her-at-all-coz-I-missed-out-from-the-very-beginning' so let's just say I did my own notes. PJ was nothing at all. Me and Phoebe walked to hall for nothing.

Grr, but I can't complain coz it kinda woke my sleeing system and we got to see the Singaporian students. Unfortunately there're no BOYS but girls only. I figured - OKAY. Phoebe figured - that they're from all girls school also so yeah. No boys AND they were wearing yellow T-Shirt! What is it with this country and yellow shirts?? The last time we went for a group thing to Malacca, we were given YELLOW shirts as well.

And then there was English. Teacher was moving on with the chapter of The Pearl but I can't seem to bother about it. I just went on with the math work I had to complete. I felt guilty having Britney's book for over centuries now. LOL. She's a smart kiddo, I shouldn't have her book. ^^,

The whole day was a blurr actually for all I did was have my nose down a math book! Hahahahaha!! I also did eavesdrop on something about our class teacher. Something about her being childish coz she was still mad about our class photoshoot. In my opinion, she shouldn't be that way if she ever was angry anyway. It is our final year so let us decide what kind of picture we would like. We did invite her but she rejected. I'm just saying here. I'm not personally mocking her into pieces. Hehe. I love the teacher, but goodness me if she was seriously acting that way, it's gonna be a hard relationship when we graduate. But well, other sources said she was just busy with meetings that's why she's all MIA. Can't blame her, she is a teacher after all.

*scream!!!!!!*
Parent Teacher get together is coming up this Saturday!!! Believe me, this ain't a good timing. I have at least 2 fails! And about 6 fish lives grades! ONLY 2 A'S! And they're not even distinction A's. Oh God, help me. I know mommy knows about my grade about it already but I hope that she doesn't go on nagging me on the way home or worst; in front of the teachers. Or maybe i'm gonna get punished by the teachers instead. They're gonna tell mom OR DAD (then i'll have to go dig my grave now) that I haven't been such a great student. I admit i'm not but come on...have pity on me. I do try to be one and I do work on any of my homeworks. May I rest in peace...*sigh*

Oh, I went home by bus again today. Surprisingly, I bumped into one of my co-singer; Hensly. He was looking just as I have remembered the last of him. Hahahahaha. Okay, maybe a tad bit chubby and dark. LOL. He's probably been eating and having rugby? Anyhus, I felt nice meeting him. I felt the sensation that I had when we were in one band, one family. Thank God the band wasn't on the road off to hell. It patched up and now we're just waiting for our girl drummer to complete her studies. I'm not quite sure if she still wants in though. From the way she's acting; it doesn't seem like it. I feel like i'm being shot in the heart everytime I talked to her about it. She has this menacing glare and the way she say it just spits out from her mouth instead of being said in the nice way a girl should be doing - exception for me that is. I'm not much of a polite talker. Teehee...

Wookey dokes! I gotta rush off to finish my lunch now and continue my Diner Dash Game! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Yeah, naughty me. I'm supposed to be finishing up my essay but nnooo..I'm to LAZY. Geez...

Toodles! Loves <3

Fifa World Cup 2010

Good morning peeps! WOW. It's June already and my last post when? MAY. Goodness. I apologize for not blogging. I miss blogging in fact. But y'know, the line here goes ding dong all the time on my laptop and i'm also always busy busy busy. For example; today (a Saturday where i'm supposed to be free and living the weekend) I have a wedding to sing for in half and hour. Jeez, I haven't even took my shower yet and i'm having a major stomach ache I think I may have to flush everything in my intestine in the toilet bowl.

11 minutes later...
YOWZA! Sorry folks...just came out from the...flush department...? HEH...

Anyway, as I was saying, i'm a busy busy busy person. Yet i'm only a High School student. What more if I start working already, i'm probably gonna be like the President's assistant kinda busy. LOL. *sigh* I haven't done my Add Math project and my Moral project as well. Phoebe is going to suspend me from watching Supernatural. NO ONE TAKES CAS FROM ME! Grrrr...

Opinion on the topic of today; Fifa World Cup 2010.
It has seemed to be that this season of football has drove everyone insane. My mother for example, I never even thought she liked football! About two days ago, Argentina vs Korea Republic (Obviously Argentina won! 4-1 baybeh!), my mom was so crazy about Messi not getting the 'right' kick. He kept going to high, or being block by some moron or he's just being MESSY (Messi, gedit?? haah!)

Here's a capture moment of her line:
"Go...goooooooo...ggooooooooOOOOOO...AGH! GGOOOAAAALLLLL!!!!!" then she laughed like a witch if it goaled but scream like a mad woman when they didn't score. Shall I say huge Argentina fan?? Or is she just a maniac over this football season? Even I don't do that although I am a big fan of Argentina. Mostly, I jump and mutter to myself.

Oh my, look at the time, 9.20am! I gotta go shower. Julian is gonna kill me if I arrive pass 10am at church. You know, unless he's the one to arrive late. ><"

LOVES!! Will try to get back as soon as possible. xDDDD

OhmiGawd!

Heyah folks. Sorry, i've been busy with shits around. Anyway, i'm back for a couple of digs and says...LOL. *sighs* I am sooo exhausted in life! I never thought i'd ever feel this much load on my body. I practically have to wake up each morning saying,

"School...must go..choir needs to polish..or DIE"

Then i'll finally get my ass up for a shower with a pair of huge heavy black bags under my eyes. I'm greatful enough that I didn't get lazy every morning from washing my broom character hair. Hahah! How would that have to look in school if I didn't. Like a witch i'd presume. =D

Well, it's a Saturday tomorrow and yet I still have to go to school for choir's polishing practices. These high pitch and low volume peeps so need to push themselves to top notch if they espect to wow people on the Teresiabn 125th Dinner. And also the competition. And seriously, THEY HAVE GOT TO STOP COMPLAINING. Christ, they only need to stand and sing out loud. At least they don't have to think about what key and which key to press on the piano for the pleasure of their ears. Plus, I want them so badly to satisfy my ears with the dinamics of the song! It makes me get OCD when they don't. aGHH!!

And another thing that makes me dread about tomorrow's practice is the photoshoot session. OUR OUTFIT IS BLOODY PINK. I hate that colours and well, it's not some normal baby pink i'm talking about. It's BRIGHT pink that looks like silk fabric. EEEWW!! My eyes are gonna get cancer! Why oh why I ask?! the brown school anthem uniform is great enough. Brown and cream, suitable for dinner and my skin tone for Lord's sake! I love the principal, but I don't love her for this. It's enough that we need to look like a couple of witches on thick make ups, but NOT THE UNIFORM! PLEASE. I'M BEGGING YOU. *wails!!!!*

*Groans....*
There's also gonna be a meet up with my church gang tomorrow after school. I think it's the Pentecost Celebration practice for this Sunday. Yikes, speaking of Sundays...I forgot to ask mum about the movie outing with Mel and the gang. I'm supposed to confirm with her before Wednesday and it's already a Sunday. I'm gonna get a bombshell! ><"

Anyway, I gotta go! Mum's calling me for dinner. Will get back soon to post some stories i've been working on. ^^

Loads of loves and farts! <3

Teacher's Day (15th May 2010)

It was a memorable one for me, this celebration. Well, it's because I performed and I can't get enough of the memories and everytime I log in my Facebook there's people complimenting. Heck, they even recorded my friggin performance! So YEAH..it was something alright..so pitchy and scary. HAHAHAHA.

But either way, thank you ALL for the compliments. Don't get high hopes on me now. I'm not the best in town. I've seen better and I wish to be as good as them. =) Music is practically the love of my life. Without it, I shall be such a lame and loner. xD

No offense to others yeah. I'm just saying this for myself.

Anyway, Teacher's Day, was a hectic time of the year. Honestly, I enjoyed being on stage for them this year. And to know that they enjoyed my performance was gladful for me coz I manage to give them a present they can remember. Hehehe. Coz you know, i'm guilty I didn't get flowers like others do. LOL. I'm broke alright?! Don't blame me for it now. Hehehe. Yeah, I was at school before 7am, as I was getting nervouse for the school choir performace.

On that, overall it was also a something. I was disappointed actually. it didn't work out as I hoped. I wanted it to be louder and good at least. And well, for them to be alert. I wanted bomb to drop out of the sky. Yeah...but I guess I should just save that for the 125th Annual Dinner and the friggin competition coming up. O.O

Then after choir performance, me, Theresa and Harveen went to get me change and we went to the canteen for me to rehearse and gulp down fried food. HAHAHA. I know, I so definitely have no dicipline. It's no wonder I got itchy throat when I was about to hit the last high note. Lmao! And I complain..jeez..

xD
Well, next would be, I LOVE LEE DEWYZE! I
m actually watching him online right now so I gotta chow to watch now sweets. xD *drools*
Oh man..I think i'm hungry..=="

EXAM'S OVER!!

Yowdy folks! It's been forever since I logged on. Gawsh. I misss y'all. (Whoever you are) LOL. But here's the dig: EXAM'S OVER!! THE JOY IN MY HEART IS UNDESCRIBABLE! xDDD

I'm not saying i'll ace the whole thing. I'm just glad that all the late night readings, memorizing, lack of sleep and being scared half to death for someone tried to break into my room through my window is all over. I tell ya, exam is all I need to make me a zombie. Uhm, a zombie who eats like a pig. HAHAHAHA. I have no idea why food attract me so much this year especially when i'm superbly stressed.

It's freaky. I don't wanna grow fatter while I stress on getting good grades. Of course i'd want to maintain body posture even when I look like a zombie. Lmao!

Anyway, during the exams, loads of shits happened. Some 'manyak' as my mum like to call him (the person who tried to break into my room or more likely to peep on me sleeping) scared me. It was at 5am! And I had Chemistry exam that morning. Thank God that man didn't scare my facts out of my brain. Teehee! Either way, I might be failing Chemistry. I couldn't remember a LOT. And even if I did, it wasn't clear. I just know I read of it, but have no idea how to put it. HAHAHAHA. Funny brain of mine. Yeah..

Anyway, it was at the crack of dawn when i fell asleep reading my book and suddenly I heard my window screen banged open. The curtain looked bulgy that's how I knew. I didn't trust my hearing coz I was half asleep. The only thing that scared me about the sound was after the banging. There was squeaky slipper sound walking away. But I still didn't trust my hearing. I kinda have a problem with hearing when i'm half asleep. Hehehehe. So I got up and went to touch the curtain and I felt the window screen open. So I suddenly panicked and went to shut the lights. Then I stood quitely and stared at the window. My heart went DUB DAB DUB DAB!! And I texted my mum about it coz I had no guts to walk to her room which was just across my room. Hey, you never know there could be burglars in the house already providing that manyak at my window. But she didn't reply and I was getting more freaked coz I sure didn't want that man to get in the house. So I ran to mummy's room and scare her up. Well, I scared the shit out of her. She kinda JUMPED off the bed. I would have find it hillarious but I was on the verge of tears. LOL. Then she went to the backyard door and the man was sitting waitingly under the lamp post as if he was planning to come back it. LUCKILY I CALLED MUM OR I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN PANICK ATTACK ON THE SPOT.

My mum yelled "YOU DARE TO COME BACK! I'LL HAVE YOUR EYEBALLS DIGGED OUT!" Good gracious I know. Yeah. Wanted to call the police thought but I figured, what could they do? We didn't even know how the man looked like. It was dark. *sigh*

Ain't the world getting wicked??

Other than that happening, there's something going on with my beloved boys as well. Agh, I miss the hang outs we used to have. I just don't know why rumours always need to spoil everything. That includes friendship. It shouldn't be that way!!! We should cherish our friends because good ones don't come so often. Most of them are just bitches and liars. Goodness. Hopefully everything gies well. I'll get so hurt if they don't get in good terms with each other. It's just so unreasonable. Unfortunately i'm not gonna spill the problems out here. Just in case i'll get killed. Hhehehe. Sorry peeps.

Well, there's more to dish about than just them. Teachers kept bugging me during exams! There's the choir thingy, there's the solo singing thingy for Teacher's Day and The 125th Annual Dinner for St Teresa. Well, i'm gonna be singing 'One Moment In Time by Whitney Houston' for Teacher's Day this coming Saturday and for the dinner, I can't decide just yet. I wanna change the songs that I initially decided o. I realise that I don't wanna be singing the same song that i'm singing for Teacher's Day. I also don't wanna be singing 'Miley Cyrus-The Climb' for a dinner. It just seems so inappropriate. I mean, maybe Celine Dion's songs would be better? I don't know. I'll just let mummy decide.

And i'm excited also during exam can you believe it!? This is only because I manage to think of novels to write. And I manage to write sing lyrics after I finished my paper. What was I supposed to do for an hour or so after i'm done right? We're not allowed to leave the class just yet. ISH. But oohh la la..^^

Okay folks. I gotta run my errands on Supernatural now! And American Idol! I wanna watch!!! xDDDDD HOTNESS.

TOODLES! LOVE Y'ALL!

FUTURE!

AHAHAHAHAHA.

I am officially going crazy thinking about my future!!

Is it Music, Architecture, Creative Writing, Journalism OR Law?

I CAN'T BLOODY DECIDE.

But if I can have a confident one, it's MUSIC. Definitely.

BUT. Daddy will KILL me for it.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

My goodness, it's my last year in High School and this is what's happening to me. Instead of being worried about the main thing - Final Year Exam - I worry more on my future. Isn't it the good grades that determine what I really should be doing? Funny right? I just so desperately want to do Music. I want to have my whole life in just that. That's my dream since I began the small steps of Music in Grade School. I tend to make a dream of my own, a movie in fact, in my head when I hear all sorts of music, or play music. It's amazingly paradoxical! I just have no idea how to fulfill it. Mum told me I have too many ambition but actually I have too many just because she stops me from reaching one that means a lot to me.

If I have all the money in the world, I would be doing all I want. And I mean doing good things sweet peeps. HAHA. I wanna spread the importance of music to all. Without it, how can you be creative? It's like any subject in school, you need creativity to work it all out. Music is like creativity. Any sound, is music at some point. Have you thought about it, if you combine all kinds of sound you can actually make music?? It doesn't have to be nice in the beginning. Like starting from the sound of...uhm..lets say..your fart? LMAO!! I know that sounds crazy but just do it for humour sake, combine all sounds of fart, and beats of drum probably could be formed! xD

Ok ok, enough with the farting then. I could give my old man a heart attack if he reads this. He'll be thinking "What have gone into my daughter?!" HAH! This is what happens to me when I can't catch my rainbows daddy. ^^

But for now, what I plan to do is just take my chances. I won't waste it. If I have to leave my future hanging between music, architecture, creative writing, journalism and law, then I'll leave it that way. I'll apply for the many scholarship in the world and see my options and depend on my instincts and parents nags. That sounds like a pain dontcha think? I should be ready by now. It's almosy half the year and here I am, a girl without the right decision. It's kinda embarrassing to express myself this way to my parents and even the counsellor! When I see her, I go speechless. I run out of things to ask and say. And these words I'm saying right now don't come to me at all. Only when I leave the room then they flood my head back. But that'll be too late to walk back into her office. That'll be a crime in my book. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Let's see:-

MUSIC

When I gradute, and while waiting for my results, i'd probably work with any schools to teach music class such as choir, vocals or showchoir? That's if they accept a student who wants to teach without much of a diploma and degree. LOL. But if my own High School would let me do that i'd be FREAKED! It'll be an awesome experience as I wait for my results. Or i'd probably go Form 6 and hijack the choir there and make another great 2 years for myself. HAHAHA. Of course that'll ONLY happen if the teacher allows me to do that. But honestly, it'll be awesome to do that in Form 6 because there BOYS. Voicing in choir with boys are magnific! They could reach the low note and the girls could shoot the stars! xD Imagine it, them singing "Proud Mary" Glee version, with a little twist of my ideas would be AMAZING. MORE that AMAZING maybe! TEEHEE!! Oh gawsh..i'm getting all excited. Goodness, I may have to start screaming on mountain tops now to get my psychedself off. The after Form 6, I wanna be accepted in Music Schools. One of them would be Juilliard. xDDD Kinda impossible now for a girl like me but i'd still have IMH to crash and study music. Or better, IVY LEAGUES!! Again, IF that's possible for a girl like me. HAH. Then i'll be so good in my studies. I'd ace ALL OF IT! And one day sweet peeps, you could probably listen to my music. You could be watching my Orchestra performance. Or I could be conducting or playing in the performance!! xDDD Ahh..and my next plan after that is to spread music all over. To the poor countries. If i'm rich at that moment of my life, I would go discover talents and bring them to the world. Isn't that just freakishly awesome and magnificent????? HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

ARCHITECTURE

Ngee~

I don't got much on this. Just one dream I tend to wonder off with when I look at nice buildings and models. I wanna go to Yale University to take this course if possible. Hehehehehe. I don't know why I want to go there. It's just the feeling when I think Architecture, I think Yale! So that's the place i'd like to go to. And when I finish studying, I would build my very own mansion on my granny's land back on the village. Then the family could all live together. THEN, I would built a resort there. Well, a resort without a beach that is, unless we could have a man-made beach. HAH. And we'd have a pool there. A HUGE ONE. ^^ Then the whole thing would be a family business that started! Weeeeee~ And i'd work harder than usual. Make my name known all around as an architect. I'd fly to Rome to see the beautiful structure of buildings. I'd go to Dublin to see more there as well. HEHEHE. Lucky me I have a brain of an I-don't-know-what. I see something, my mind expands more on it. It's like autopilot! I wanna call it crazy but it could be my "gift" that I don't really take seriously. xP If there's even such a thing. And finally, i'd fulfill my promise to a friend; Phoebe Simon. I promise that i'd build her fantasy Home. She wants it mostly to be glass like. How that's possible i'd only know after i'm a professional. Maybe i'm already supposed to know it at this age? But I may be a silly one to not know.

CREATIVE WRITING

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I've written so many stories! IN MY HEAD. So far, i've only had 3 on paper? It's not complete though. I wanna publish novels one day. I have one that's a series. It's my favourite among all that I've come up with. That story has been in my head since I was in Grade 3. It was inly my imagination at first. Then I dreamed of it! Then I start continuing every chapter that comes up n my head. And one day, I just figured why not to write it all down and perfect all the grammar mistake later. I am currently on Chapter 15 if i'm not mistaken. TEEHEE! I love writing down and making up stories that doesn't make sense. Then, i'd make it the craziest, the silliest, the most interesting my brain could discover! xD Just....now..I don't know what I'm gonna do with it once I'm finished. I don't know whether I should send it in for pulishing. If I even choose to send it in, I wouldn't know how. LOL. Crazy eh?

JOURNALISM

Dude..I only write this career down for the sake of having an option. I don't know what comes out of this. HAH. HHHHEEEELLPPP MEEEE.

LAW

Same goes for this one. I have this option just because I have a 25% scholarship already. I THINK. I love talking, going against something, I love annoying people that way. But that doesn't mean I wanna be doing Law right? Yeah, it pays good, YADAYADA. Money isn't the shits for me. I'm more of a passion kinda person. I wanna do something I won't hate in the end. And Law doesn't sound like one I wouldn't hate one day.

See sweeties out there. You better not be like this. There isn't gonna be anything to think about if you're in my position. GAH. xDDD

TOODLESS!! Mum's nagging me to do the laundry now. GOTTA GO! Mmmwwwaaahhx!

one minute im mad but the other im suddenly worried to death

Agh. It's mother problemo at the moment. Just a few days back and the rest of the other day we were arguing ALOT. About my studies, about my chores, about my disobedience all the way to my future. I swore I hated her to the most there and I would leave the family as soon as I graduate High School but when I saw her look when she's sick, it seems impossible to think that. the feeling dragged me back to where I should be a girl, the eldest in the house and taking my responsible properly. Heck, I even touched my brother's forehead for his temperature just in case he has fever. [I rarely do that!] Things are a little shaky at the moment. Haven't been to school two days this week now. First, I wanna study for next week's exam, second, I gotta take care of mum [by which if I get sick next and miss Semester Exam, I will musder someone!] and well...i gotta figure out some shits for Choir performace. I really am going crazy thinking about all the possible songs..they're lame that's for sure. ~~"

Well..I gotta go handle my mother now. And the chores..then my studies...*sigh*

Toodles!

@.@

..and she talks to air

Just got home from school. ==" Such a tiring day today. Didn't even study! First thing in the morning was MUSIC ROOM; practice for choir "Amalan 5S". We performed the song during assembly for the launching of some month this month. Oh gawsh, I don't know, I can't keep up with these kind of things. After that, we practiced some more, this time it was the competition song. There was improvement I must say. The sopranos are still sharp and the altos still tend to get lost but overall it was fantastic. Hahahahha!! I can still imagine my friends face when she hear all the sharp notes. Goodness, it was as if a wine glass could be broken by then. xDD

Then assembly was over so we went back to class. I had Math and it was Screamo's lesson. Urgh..thank God she wasn't being annoying to me today. She didn't even bother that I didn't have my book with me and she allowed me to study my Math. Usually she would go "Janine! Where's your book?!" Imagine metal scraping metal, that's how she probably sound like. LMAO. I'm so cruel to her...

Oh well...then it was CNY's period. ENGLISH. Hey, don't give me a look now. I love English..I just don't fancy the teacher so much. She's also annoying. She complains so much!! She also don't like anyone missing her classes. Even if it involves important matters. She would tell you to postpone that matter. Hahahahahahah!! Silly eh? xD But I didn't pay attention just now. [AS ALWAYS] I remained my notion in studying my Math. I am WAY WWWAAAYYY BEHIND. I need to catch up. Oh i'm so glad they changed the date for exam to the 29th April. If it was to be on the 24th, I am probably gonna be digging my grave right now instead of blogging. Ahhh...I can attend the HSI dinner then..<3 I'm gonna love it again! xDDDDD

Yeah, partly it's about hanging out with my band..my oh so darling boys and well..SOMEONE..hahahahahhahahaha!! SHHHHHH! And being around music just makes me the person I am. I will entertain you all the way. Even when I suck. HEHEHEHE.

Anyway..back to the topic..
Oh oh! LOL. Spent the whole day in school not studying but practicing. Yeah. That's short for everything that I wrote.
*sighs*
I'm repeating my words. Oh well..OH!! Now I remember..I came back from school, and my mum was blending tapioca (I think that's the spelling), then she was so annoyed it got stuck, she started scolding the tapioca.

MUM'S ACT:
She picked up the tapioca in the blender and looked at it in an annoyed expression,
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST STAY NEAR THE BLADE?! IT'S GONNA BLEND YOU AND I CAN GO REST ALREADY! ISH. And don't you come complain to me now.." and she puts the tapioca into the blender and continued blending. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

THAT'S MY MOTHER! xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Yeah, well I gotta go shower now. Life's gotta go on. I can't stay on this blog forever or else mum's gonna nag me. And also, I wanna go complete that song i'm composing. Get back to y'all soon! xD

TOODLES!!!

Softball Competition!

9, 10, 11 APRIL 2010

SMK St Teresa has hosted a Softball Competition involving numbers of schools in the first division of Sarawak. [I THINK. LOL] Yesterday in the closing ceremony, it was announced that the we (Teresians) got third! Sad but happy at the same time!!! xDD

We've spent all of our free weeks practicing so hard and now all the hard work is paid off. The sunburns, the tired muscles and our undone homeworks can be memories now. Haha! Well, after the competition, we all look like BANGLA! xDD Our clad skin so fair but our exposed skin so dark. Our faces are black, red, overall burned. Our legs are striped colours; brown and cream due the the covered skin and burned skin. After our match, we take a looked at ourselves and just laugh because of the huge difference from before the game and after the game.

It's just such an amazing experience and an also tiring one. Today, a Monday, I look like a just rose from the dead! From my neck up to my forehead i'm red in colour. Half of my arm is like fried chicken!! And my legs...my pretty and hairy legs are striped. HAHAHAHAHAHHAA. And well, muscles are aching. The worst part is my neck muscle. I can't look down! It feels broken. And I thought yesterday that my swollen arm would be the most painful part. Even the scratch on my leg from sliding on sand doesn't hurt as much as my neck. Lol.

But yeah, I can't complain. I wanted to do the sport and I loved playing in the game. =D There were tough times. Especially when we get nagged by our coach. Some of us cry on the field in the middle of a game because of our coach. She yells and calls us stupid and not even thank us a bit for trying our best to play. At last, we just slip it out of our minds and say, WE GOT THIRD! And we so much made friends with the Lakers and suddenly become enemies with the Pendings. LOL.

The best moments was on our last day, the 11th April. The team walked to Tun Jugah to have lunch. Apparently we were supposed to just eat at some stall by the road but we ended up walking all the way to town from St Thomas school. We were like villagers on our first trip out to town. We took pictures in the middle of the road for goodness sake! Honestly, I loved how we're dressed in our jerseys walking in groups and then comes a part where we sang our theme song while walking. Yeah, people were looking but so what? Not often that we get to do that.

Then there was the "Food Gallery" craze. We were the noisiest in the food court! We laughed so much, talked so loud and I almost had my Morocco Chocolate drip out of my nose for laughing at a picture. Then after lunch, we almost got shooed out by a security guard and he followed us all the way out of the mall as if we were gonna steal something. Come on, give it a break. What kind of mall would it be if we can't be noisy and we can't travel in groups?? Silly I know, but whadaya say when you live in Malaysia mall. HAHAH.

One funny incident was the running back to St Thomas school. When we left the mall, IT STARTED RAINING HEAVILY! Our jerseys, shoes, socks, pants, underwears, bras and bags all got soaked! It was so hillarious seeing us run and cross the road. Some even screamed while running just for fun. As if we never showered in rain before.

*sigh*

Crazy..but fun! xDDDD That's all that I could report for now. Need to get my rest before my neck snap off. Hahahahahahah! Urgh..and the fact that I gotta do my chores now makes me annoyed. =="

SIGNING OFF. Mwahx!

The Long Way Home...

You never know how fast things can happen. It could hurt so much when you realized you just missed it. Sometimes, you say it is just a dream and it is not real. This should not happen, but it does. You already know it was going to happen anytime soon, but you do not want to accept it. You are praying so hard for a miracle that will not happen.

My life twirled this way. It happened so fast that I wished I was the victim. It had made me travel a long way back to greet my fading memories; a memory which I call home.

I was just walking towards the lift, taking a step after another away from grandpa’s ward when my cell phone rang. It was mom. She was sobbing while telling me that grandpa had breathed his last breath.

My whole body went stiff and I could not move or talk. I stood in front of the open lift with blank mind. I did not even realize that my face was flooded by hot streaming tears until someone gripped my shoulders to hold my quivering body still. Meanwhile, inside my head, I was chanting words like “it is not true”. If it is not, then why am I crying? To answer my question, I snapped out of my weak soul and sprinted back to the ward.

And there he lay, on that uncomfortable bed looking like a man who had just fulfilled his dream. Otherwise, he looked peaceful. Unlike the man I saw before the soul left the body, weak and suffering while having so many tubes sticking through his skin. So everything mom told me on the phone was true.

And here I was, sitting in the bus heading to grandpa’s burial ceremony while sobbing as if a taser was permanently taped to me. There, I was going through every memory I had with grandpa, trying to remember each one more clearly.

The bus eventually took a right turn and the sight of the blue billboard by the traffic junction reminded me of my childhood times. I saw myself still about five years old, laughing merrily as grandpa chased to tickle me. My mouth could suddenly taste the delight of the chocolate grandpa gave after I surrendered the tickle game. After that, the feeling of his warm arms under my thighs as he carried me was so nice.

My next memory of him was when I skidded into a big drain. The pain that struck my broken wrist was horrible. Urgently, grandpa drove me to the hospital. His caring face was filled with worry and fright. I was really glad to know that he cared for me that much. But to think of it this very moment, I would not even get to see his face anymore. The wrinkles that collided with his worried expression will be gone from the human flesh.

And then there are memories of us having happy chit-chats together. We joked most of the time and he would flash his beautiful smile that will only be in my memory from now onwards.

I stared at the green forest from the bus window. Grandpa used to be a soldier. I bet he traveled this place on foot during his young time. A new memory suddenly came in place; it was when grandpa was teaching me how to handle a cleaver, a hoe, a sickle and some other gardening tools. The way he demonstrated it to me was so brave and tough.

     “Grandpa, why do I need to cut these into smaller pieces?” I remembered myself asking that silly question when we were burning bamboo sticks. And then his caring voice chirped in reply,

     “Because we want it to burn faster and easier”

More tears clouded my eyes then. It was hot as it strolled down my cheeks and I knew my face was shades of crimson.

I also remembered when we were celebrating Chinese New Year, mom was so eager to take pictures. There was one where I sat on grandpa’s lap with his arms draped across my lap. For all I remembered, we were giggling about something I did.

     “Make sure you smile always. Don’t let your temper gets to you or you’ll grow old very fast with more grey hairs than I have” he told me this quote almost every weekend when I came to visit him.

I did grow with his advice. The whole growth I had had a smile plastered on and day by day it had turned into a grin. But I could not keep temper away from me. It is naturally in my bloodline.

     “Study hard” was also his main quotation to me. Now that he had stepped into another world, who would give me those sweet important advice?

Besides all that, grandpa also loved telling stories of his pastimes. The way he splayed his arms as he felt his story about being captured by the communist was enjoyable. I miss him terribly.

Then, another flashback came to me. It was the time when I was clipping grandpa’s nails. He had his soft, fragile fingers against my palm. Would I ever feel them again? Probably in my dreams. But if I were to answer the reality, it is a no.

I was not even close to home yet. Not yet on the peek of my memories. There is still a lot more to refresh and go through down the memory lane heading to a place called my home.

I closed my eyes and saw a little picture of a young girl about five years old laughing cheerfully as she ran up the stairs without her clothes on. I recognize this image. The girl was me. Grandpa was trying to snap a picture of my naked body because I did not want to put on any clothes. It was happy times, and the happy feeling prickled in my heart as that memory faded away replacing it with another one.

The next one was grandpa crouching on the front lawn holding a shovel. He looked up at me and stretched his lips forming his most beautiful smile. This image was when I tried to spray him with pipe water. He managed to catch me and threw me up in the air. With these memories cramming pain into my chest, a big fat tear made its way out my eyes again.

     “Jane?” grandma’s voice called me in the silent bus. My eyes fluttered open and I saw her chagrin face as her hand reached for a strand of hair that glued across my forehead. “Don’t cry anymore. Grandpa will feel sad seeing you like this”

Her words of comfort seem to make me sob harder. It was difficult to control the wound in my heart.

     “Shh…he will be with God. Don’t cry. Be happy that he is no longer suffering” she added.

Grandma’s last sentence revived the memory of grandpa’s sick moments. The time when he was just laying on the bed with tears strolling down his soft wrinkly cheeks. It was also the time where he could not move at all. I remembered wiping cold sweat from his forehead. He was definitely suffering in that condition.

After that, another memory of him popped. It was the part where grandpa voiced his last word. My cousin was asking him whether he wanted a shave and he answered,

     “Yes”. That was it. His voice box blocked his voice to come out. So the whole time we were with him before he passed away, we did not hear him say any words anymore.

The bus came to a stop and it was time to get off. Ahead of the bus was the church and there was grandpa’s coffin. Many people were surrounding it. The sky looked cloudy and there was a mere sign that it was going to rain soon.

When the burial mass was done, when grandpa’s coffin was locked up for good, we headed to the grave yard. All the grandchildren were requested to carry flowers for grandpa as we led to the grave yard. This part will definitely be in my collection of memories.

And again, I got drowned by tears. I could not stand watching them roll the coffin seven feet down the earth. How could they do that to grandpa!? Like I expected, the rain began to fall.

Therefore, this is the last memory I shall have of him. His coffin covered by the brick-coloured earth and then the rain. I am hardly at the peek of my memories yet but I did felt the sensation of home as I came this far. There is a lot more to walk through to get home and this surely have been the long way home.

Her

How shall I describe your beautiful self?

Do I start from top to bottom,

Or bottom to top?

It is so hard to decide,

You are just so magical,

Soft skin, red lips,

It makes me wonder if there is more

We were both young when I first saw you,

Your gorgeous black hair;

It falls willingly above you shoulders,

It is perfectly tangle-free,

It dazzles me

Your eyes;

Your big black Arabian eyes,

They are the brightest of all the colours,

They look fantastic decorated by those thick lashes,

They have the powers to hypnotize,

Sometimes they knock me down

Is it cherry or strawberry?

This is what I taste when you kiss my lips,

I feel like a new born child,

Every time I get the chance to see you smile,

Being close to you,

Whilst feeling your silk smooth skin,

I can see tomorrow,

You changed my whole life,

You are the one I want to share my life with

My favourite part of you,

Is your voice,

Your laugh especially,

It makes me tingle all over,

How I should say it in proper manners I don’t know,

But this is for sure,

It is the soundtrack of our love

PS: I am straight aite. Don't think differently now. LOL. When I wrote this, I was supposedly being a guy...^^ I know..CRAZY. xD Like it or not, it's your choice! Toodles!

Down Memory Lane

Sitting here on my blue desktop chair, biting my bottom lip as I faced the blank page displayed in my flat computer screen. I wonder to myself of what to contribute to my old school’s magazine launch. It is impossible for me to come up for something unique yet logical. The letter that I received stated that the contribution could be in a form of poem, story and etcetera, mainly based on the experience earned. However, nothing seems to express what I feel like writing at the moment.

Not knowing what to think at this time, my mind wandered through all the memories I had that belonged in my younger times at the school. I remembered going for the many extracurricular activities in Year 4, 5 and 6. Ahh…how I loved playing football with the boys. It was one of the best times I’ve ever had in SK Catholic English.

Thinking about this, I laughed to myself alone. It was a bit amusing as I recalled the time where we, the girls and boys always tried to play football in our vacant class when it was raining or whether if it was too hot outside. We would kick the ball and sometimes the ball would almost knock down the ceiling fan! Then, everyone would run for cover in case we get into trouble for vandalizing a school property. I had many fond times with my friends whom I grew up with there and I wish I could still hang out with them now.

Tears welled up in my eyes then. It blurred the vision of my computer screen. I couldn’t believe all these memories were real. They actually happened in my life out of all the million trillion people in the world.

I was taught by the best teachers – especially my utmost loving teachers; Mr. Joe, Madam Hilda and Mr. Ramlan. Unfortunately, for every school life has its ‘Hellos’ and ‘Goodbyes’ when the time has come. I remembered crying when I had graduated from my primary school. At the time, I couldn’t bear the thought of having to leave as from a little child I’ve studied there and to leave the teachers who’ve acted as parents to me.

As my memories unfold, I thought of the punishments received in my class. Again, I laughed alone. I had recalled Mr. Ramlan’s way of canning us as punishments before.
     “Janine! Hah! Let me see your KH assignment,” he ordered. That has somehow become his pick up line in our year.
     “Uhm…” I mumbled as I pretended to rummage through my school bag, looking for what I know was not there because I purposely left it home for not being able to complete it. I was too lazy to finish any of my homework given as I had wanted to watch my favorite TV show.
     “Sorry teacher, I…I…”, I hesitated the moment I saw the cane in his firm, big hands swinging in front of me.
     “Hah! I think I know what you were you going to say…you didn’t bring blah blah. The old cliché trick again. Well, you know what to do”, he said as he moved a few feet back, rubbing his hands together with glee as if he was going to dive into a huge chicken for meal.

Knowing what he meant, I stood up and shakily extended my hands away from my sides. It was time to feel the thing we call “Ramlan’s Mighty Cane”. We all knew it hurt, that it was excruciatingly awful but it was our own fault to always put ourselves in the position we regret. Then again, in my second opinion, I think that it was also because of how we loved to see our teacher put on a fierce face especially when one of us cries out in pain after each hit. It is like his signature punishment to us all.

As for Mr. Joe and Madam Hilda, they have their own way of admonishing their naughty students. They would usually say to us;
     “You are models to your juniors. Show a good behavior because you all are big enough to know these things. You’re not little babies anymore”

Every time when they say it, it would make me feel guilty and wanting to apologize non-stop especially when they also look straight into your eyes mainly to emphasize on what they have said.

Good times never fade fast eh? Being a high school student now changes my perspective on my primary school entirely. I realized that my old school was once my home – the love and friendships I have shared there and my dedicated teachers who are aging every day; I have loved and come to appreciate so much. Many a time, I see myself as being a young student again, running around on the school field. Everything was pleasuring me when I step my foot back on the grey pavement of SK Catholic English.

Friends whom I made with were like my brothers and sisters. No matter how much we used to quarrel, we managed to stay in touch after our momentary life there in the school. Whenever we bumped into each other, we would greet each other and then tuned in our minds together on how much fun we used to have in Catholic English.

Every time when I feel pressured by living a high school life, I think of my time in my old school. It was the only thing that kept reminding me of why I was in school, my purposes and my goal for the future.

This also reminds me that I had goals when I started living the exquisite choices of SK Catholic English. My options of ambitions changed every month! My first option was to be a teacher. This was inspired to me by Madam Hilda. Her graceful way of teaching her noisy and disobedient students inspired me until I dream of wanting to teach. Every single afternoon when I was at the age of 10, I played student-teacher with my little brother. He would get really annoyed at me as he had gotten sick of it. Yet, I didn’t care.
     “Take your books out now!” I ordered Mark, my brother. I liked pretending to act like a teacher and tick home works’. It was good to feel in charge.

Eventually, I realized that being a Mat Rempit was so much better! I wanted to be a biker. I yearned to have those big sport bikes and drive like I own the road in town. Well, this only happened after I got psyched that Mr. Ramlan drives an awesome bike! Seriously, I would pass by the bike every morning since it is only parked near the school gate and I would just dream of myself in a hot black leather suit – that’s if I ever get slim – wearing the shiniest helmet ever made and be by my big bike.

Unfortunately, that particular ambition faded too. I suddenly wanted to be an architect, then a lawyer then an architect again. This is because of Mr. Joe now. See! Every teacher has their influence on me! You see, Mr. Joe’s hand writing grows bigger and bigger if your work impressed him. This signature of his made me realize that some things can just be created into a design. Every material has its curves and straightness and righteous in it. Therefore, I began to take interest in architecture and the righteous in everything to become a lawyer too.

It was a long time that I recalled the past, and then I stopped and stared back at the black page in the computer screen. My eyes weren’t leaking tears anymore. Instead, everything clicked as my face wrinkled in joy when I smiled gladly. I know what to write for the article now! I know the exact words, the exact feeling and the exact arrangements for every word. Why didn’t I think of this walk down memory lane a few days ago?

Eagerly, I typed down what was in my mind before it fades away and it’s now all in paper.

I am so proud that I used to study in SK Catholic English. Although the school provided a small roof, I managed to learn new meanings of friendship, I learned to respect each other there, I learned that everyone is the same and I learned to be a great student with high quality dedication.

When I fail, I try harder instead of breaking down and giving up. The teachers there had pushed me so far up that I’m so close to my dreams today. They expressed that there are no boundaries in achieving the best.

Phwwooaar...

I can't believe I didn't think of creating a blog for myself in the first place. Knowing that I love writing so much crap, well, I guess this would be the best place to show others too. ^^

So, peeps out there, be yourself and read my crap. Then drop your opinions and yada yada that you gotta do. =D First of all, i'm a crazy person and I write stuff that you might not understand and stuff that just comes out of the blue. This blog of mine could consist of fiction stories, song lyrics and basically my life. It could be stupid, funny, WEIRD and well..just the way I am. =)

So enjoy! God Bless..